Various Jokes You Will Love

These are some various jokes from TheJokeYard.com, I hope they float your boat!

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"
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Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
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What did the penis say to the condom?
Cover me im going in!
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Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
3 Stone !
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What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?
Kermit the frogs finger
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Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
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I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant pluckers son.
And I'm only plucking pleasants
'till the pheasant plucker comes.
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An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes".
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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."
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I hope you enjoyed this blog post, please make sure you go to TheJokeYard.com to check out some more hilarious jokes.
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